Surgery will be tomorrow

The surgery to check Lincoln's condition has been postponed to tomorrow. It was supposed to be today around 1:00 but due to scheduling conflicts of the the doctors included it was pushed to tomorrow morning sometime. It has been a frustrating day of waiting to hear on a time of surgery, being told different rules of the NICU, having to be on my feet and walking more today (that is just me, Carrie), and mostly being physically and emotionally drained.

The highlight of my day was getting to hold my sweet boy for longer than 2 minutes today! He is so stinkin' cute! He rarely is fussy like I said before and he makes the sweetest faces. All 4 grandparents were able to hold him and love him.

During the day, I feel confident and ok with the situation we are in. I am not sure if it is the fact that I am rested or that I have so many supportive visitors who keep me occupied but either way I can get through the day without crying. But the nights are different. I have had emotional breakdowns both nights after all the family has left. Last night was just the truth of it all sinking in and realizing that my new baby was different than others. I am thankful that we have him as many people are not able to when they plan to and that Lincoln's condition can be treated and not have lifelong struggles but it is still hard to not be able to hold my baby when I want to. I hear the other babies up and down the hall in their parents' rooms and my heart hurts knowing that my Lincoln is in a crib alone far from me. Tonight was looking like a better night, Shane and I headed down to the NICU to tell Lincoln good night and hold him one last time before surgery because we are unsure what time the surgery will be tomorrow. But when we got there, our friendly nurse was gone and a new nurse on the clock. We are told that we couldn't hold him because it wasn't "touch times" which we have NEVER heard of before. I thought Shane was going to physically fight this woman as I sit struggling to hold back tears. She did let me hold me but the time was short because I didn't want to burst into tears in front of her, so I held them back until we were in the room....then the floodgates opened! Between me crying and Shane being angry, we were quite the pair! We are back in our room and I am ok now (I think Shane is still a little tiffed!) and I am about to shower so I feel like a new person! I know that God has a plan for this special boy and he is already proving to be a fighter. I am anxious, nervous, scared, but mostly ready for tomorrow's surgery....I want to know how we can "fix" our boy!
Thank you all for listening as I spill out my heart...it helps to vent. I will try to post as soon as we know a time and after we know anything but at the moment we just know it is sometime tomorrow.

Thank you all for your prayers and keep them going up! (Sorry no pics but I promise there will be tomorrow when my brain has rested!)
Carrie